Since we've been so delinquent in updating this blog, i'll just try to recall in bits my memories of what we've been through...
First week: We were kept "hostage" in makati med because a doctor observed that he was dehydrated, so we had to keep him there while waiting for a blood and urine culture to ensure that he was clear of any bacteria. we were given a brief reprieve from changing diapers, but rey and i would make the trek from our room to the nursery diligently every 2 hours to feed the little one. at the start, we'd wait for them to call us before going to the nursery, but after a nursery fiasco which i don't care to detail in this blog, we took the initiative to just go on our own every 2 hours to make sure he didn't miss any meal.
i don't recall it as clearly anymore (perhaps because mother nature makes sure the hard parts are forgotten and all that's left in parents' memories are how perfect their babies are). i do know, however, that while each time the nurse would roll in diego in his bassinet, rey and i would light up. we'd ask the nurse on duty - did he pee? did he poop? (this was a crucial indication of his healing from the dehydration), was he crying long? he was so little and looked sort of like ET to me than those usual chubby babies you see in movies or tv. his eyes were black and beady, but each time they'd bring him over to latch on to me, he'd pull back and look at my face with eyebrows raised, as though he was thinkng - "can i trust you?". when he'd hear rey's voice, he'd even pull his face back just to see where the voice was coming from and peer at rey with the same suspicious look. when it seemed he was satisfied that we could be trusted, he'd latch. and oh boy, would he latch. it'd be soooo painful that i had to hold rey's hand with my free hand just to keep from screaming in pain. he'd suck vigorously for a few minutes then drift into a lazy suck - which meant, suck, suck, pause.... suck, suck, pause..... because of this, the whole feeding session would take an hour or more. we had "nursing classmates" we would recognize through the curtains, but i guess we were all very groggy that we'd just greet each other with a smile and nod, knowing we were all struggling in this new endeavor called parenthood.
while he'd nurse, rey and i would imagine what he was thinking. we even joked that he purposely got himself dehydrated to extend our stay in the hospital because he had a crush on one of the nurses. rey even joked that it was the chubby one who we didn't like who would roughly pinch his feet to wake him up, shaking our heads that our son regretfully had poor taste in women. hahaha. we'd recite the novena to st. therese of the child jesus to ensure his healing, too, and place the stole of fr. gratian (spelling?) near him. i did sort of feel robbed of the early days to be with him 24/7, but i think i was too scared to ask him to be roomed in for fear i wouldn't know how to take care of him as we had no yaya for him yet. also being in the hospital just makes you feel like you're sick and not strong enough to take care of another person. but maybe we'll be more confident the next time around.
in the hospital, we were still sort of in a plastic bubble. we were fully immersed in the total reality of being parents, and i had no idea what to expect when we did get home. one thing i did realize at this time, was that motherhood was turning out to be one of the hardest but most wonderful thing that i would ever experience.
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