11 things about my little boy...

As I've told my other friends, I don't seem to have any time to do anything else when I get home from work, other than to make up for lost time with my family. So all our grand plans of having this regular blog to document our lives as new parents have not exactly been achieved. In any case, I felt it would be good to jot down a couple of things about my little boy, before memory fails me, because he's growing up so fast, right before our eyes. :)

1. He's very perceptive. There have been several times that I've watched him quietly wake up in his crib. Thinking there was no one around in the room, he'd know not to waste his energy by crying or complaining without an audience. So he'd try to reach for the top of his crib on his own. While he is too little to get up on his own, you can tell he has a survivor instinct. It's only when he sees someone (even from the corner of his eye) that he starts to whine to be picked up.

2. He has these funny skin problems. Patches of his skin would get rough and dry, then they'd eventually clear up and become white. They don't seem to bother him, though.

3. He has a way of laughing such that one eye gets smaller than the other, or sometimes one eyebrow is raised.

4. He's a jumper.

5. One of his favorite play things are Lolo Bong's old orange can of Fox's fruit candy.

6. He could support himself on a standing position (with support) as early as 3 months, and is almost able to lift himself up on all fours now at 6 months. I have a feeling he has the potential to be athletically adept.

7. He has a wavy tuft or hair in the middle top of his haid. And he has these 3-5 long strands of hair that extends to his forehead.

8. His laugh is more like a shrilly scream. Manong (or Miggy) thinks its cause he doesn't really know how to laugh properly yet so it comes out as a shriek.

9. He sometimes babbles to himself at night. I think he likes to listen to the sound of his voice.

10. He can readily turn in the direction of your voice when you call him, even from a far distance. When I say goodbye to him, it sounds like he's both laughing and crying at the same time.

11. He likes to bury his face onto the person carrying him, especially when he gets excited.

When Rey has the time, I'll ask him to make his own list, too. :)

back to work!

a break from the recap of my first month to reflect on my first few days back at work...
i guess its because i practiced leaving diego at home to run little errands, watch a movie, have lunch or dinner out, i had already psyched myself that going to work would be just like that.  just a bit longer.  it makes me appreciate when he wakes up at night, even if it means less sleep for me, because that's when i get to spend alone time with my son. i also love coming home to see him, and i get such a high from seeing his first smile when i arrive.  if i arrive and he's still asleep, i just chat with yaya rona to find out what they were up to the whole day.  i find such a sense of achievement to find out that he drank a lot of milk, because then it makes me feel that i'm doing a good job of providing him with the milk he needs to grow. while i'm at the office, it's not too bad either.  its just like old times, when i hadn't given birth yet, but without the pregnancy restrictions.  and while i do pine to be with my baby, practically counting the minutes til i can go home, i don't really mind being at work, knowing that i am so blessed to have my own little family.  work hasn't poured in, in fact, i haven't been doing anything at work because there are no new projects, and my bosses are on leave.  it makes the day go by sooo slowly, but the good part is that i have no issues with leaving immediately at 5pm to rush home to my little one.  now i know what rey was talking about when he started going to work after diego was born.  its easy now, but i know it will only get harder as he gets older, and quality time with him will be even more precious.

Bogs' fourth trimester: first week (makati med)

The past 2 1/2 months has been a crazy mix of anxiety, "near post partum depression", excitement and loads of fun. 

Since we've been so delinquent in updating this blog, i'll just try to recall in bits my memories of what we've been through...

First week: We were kept "hostage" in makati med because a doctor observed that he was dehydrated, so we had to keep him there while waiting for a blood and urine culture to ensure that he was clear of any bacteria.  we were given a brief reprieve from changing diapers, but rey and i would make the trek from our room to the nursery diligently every 2 hours to feed the little one.  at the start, we'd wait for them to call us before going to the nursery, but after a nursery fiasco which i don't care to detail in this blog, we took the initiative to just go on our own every 2 hours to make sure he didn't miss any meal.  

i don't recall it as clearly anymore (perhaps because mother nature makes sure the hard parts are forgotten and all that's left in parents' memories are how perfect their babies are).  i do know, however, that while each time the nurse would roll in diego in his bassinet, rey and i would light up.  we'd ask the nurse on duty - did he pee?  did he poop?  (this was a crucial indication of his healing from the dehydration), was he crying long?  he was so little and looked sort of like ET to me than those usual chubby babies you see in movies or tv.  his eyes were black and beady, but each time they'd bring him over to latch on to me, he'd pull back and look at my face with eyebrows raised, as though he was thinkng - "can i trust you?".  when he'd hear rey's voice, he'd even pull his face back just to see where the voice was coming from and peer at rey with the same suspicious look.  when it seemed he was satisfied that we could be trusted, he'd latch.  and oh boy, would he latch.  it'd be soooo painful that i had to hold rey's hand with my free hand just to keep from screaming in pain.  he'd suck vigorously for a few  minutes then drift into a lazy suck - which meant, suck, suck, pause.... suck, suck, pause..... because of this, the whole feeding session would take an hour or more.  we had "nursing classmates" we would recognize through the curtains, but i guess we were all very groggy that we'd just greet each other with a smile and nod, knowing we were all struggling in this new endeavor called parenthood.  

while he'd nurse, rey and i would imagine what he was thinking.  we even joked that he purposely got himself dehydrated to extend our stay in the hospital because he had a crush on one of the nurses. rey even joked that it was the chubby one who we didn't like who would roughly pinch his feet to wake him up, shaking our heads that our son regretfully had poor taste in women. hahaha.  we'd recite the novena to st. therese of the child jesus to ensure his healing, too, and place the stole of fr. gratian (spelling?) near him.  i did sort of feel robbed of the early days to be with him 24/7, but i think i was too scared to ask him to be roomed in for fear i wouldn't know how to take care of him as we had no yaya for him yet.  also being in the hospital just makes you feel like you're sick and not strong enough to take care of another person.  but maybe we'll be more confident the next time around.  

in the hospital, we were still sort of in a plastic bubble.  we were fully immersed in the total reality of being parents, and i had no idea what to expect when we did get home.  one thing i did realize at this time, was that motherhood was turning out to be one of the hardest but most wonderful thing that i would ever experience.

Belabor Me

I now understand why they call it labor. Or why we use the phrase "labor pains" to refer to some difficulty encountered when trying out something new. 

Because it is indeed painful! 

We had been waiting and waiting weeks prior to Camille's due date.  Hoping that she would start her contractions and give birth before her due date.  But no, the baby wanted to come out in his own time.  Due date was April 6/7.  But he refused to budge.  We thought maybe he wanted to come out on April 9, the National Day of Valor or Araw ng Kagitingan.  Wala pa rin. Sinimulan na namin ang novena kay St. Therese of Lisieux.

Then on the evening of April 10, Camile went to the hospital to have herself checked for a suspected leak.  It turned out that while she was starting to have contractions, the main water bag was still intact and it was only the fore bag that had ruptured.  So we went home.  By 1130pm, the contractions started to become more intense.  Intervals of 7 minutes all the way up to the following day.  I was actually catching up on facebook between her contractions since I couldn't get any sleep anyway. 

We decided to go back to the hospital the following day before 9am.  Camille felt the pain.  When we got to the birthing room, the doctor said she was only at 2cm.  But she was in pain.  So we moved to a regular room and wait it out. 

It was time to apply all those techniques we learned in birthing class. Use a tennis ball to massage her lower back! Swing your hips as you're standing!  Sit on the birthing ball! Massage her back! Cleansing breath! Breathe! Focus on something other than your pain! Offer  your pain! We were fortunate to have 20 hours of doing that every 10 minutes. 

Camille couldn't eat. Camille couldn't drink. She felt nauseous.  She finally agreed to take Demerol by noontime but it didn't really help much.  Whenever she was hooked to fetal monitor for testing, her contraction intensity was off the chart despite the fact that she continued to be at just 2cm. 

This was all Camille's pain. And all I could do was just be there and do whatever she wanted me to do. 

By 6-630 pm, she progressed to 5cm and the doctor gave the go-ahead for epidural to relieve her of the pain. 

So the contractions, effacement, dilation continued to progress until 10cm at past 11.  It was time to push. Three times but it was not going to be possible.  The baby kept getting stuck and couldn't really go out. 

Dra Henson sadly advises us that she will have to do a CS.  I was just dumbfounded.  After 26 hours, Camille was not going to have a vaginal delivery.  She was going under the knife.  But  Camille just kept her cool and calmly said, "OK."

That moment was my most humbling moment.  I had a newfound respect for mothers. And particularly for my wife.  I never underestimated her resolve.  I had faith that God would pull us through.  But I never expected the calm and collected reply despite everything.  And I said to myself, I owe it to her to be even stronger.  I owe it to her to be even more present and supportive.  That is what gave me the strength to watch the operation. 

Oh and yeah, seeing my son being raised up and hearing his first cry was such a major bonus. 

You can come out now

We had a welcome arrival today.  The package from the US finally arrived! It contained baby stuff among other things. One particular item we were looking forward to having was the baby book.  And it's finally here! Of course, the HD media player the came with the package was something that got us excited as well.

We called the freight forwarder and we were informed that the stroller was also due to be delivered today! Yahoo! We're now almost complete! Baby na lang! Haha!


As Mom said, maybe Bogs is OC like his Owa.  He wants everything complete and ready before he comes out.


So the wait continues...

Pre-Bogs: Waiting, walking and "nesting"

It's been difficult to make plans the past couple of days because there's always that caveat: "unless i go into labor".  Holy week was restful and quiet precisely because we didn't want to make any plans or travel too far away from Makati.  I think all of us at home (Rey and I, Mom and Dad and Miggy) all wanted Bogs to be born during the Holy week since we had nothing to do otherwise.  After Miggy's graduation last March 26, we already gave Bogs the go signal to come out.  He had a couple of days to get out of being called "April Boy", but he happily passed the March 31 deadline.  We thought he might want to come out on April 1, with all the other April Fools, but he passed that day without a hitch, too.  April 2, 3 and 4 went by without any signs of labor as well.  We requested that since he wasn't coming out yet, he might as well skip April 5, as his Tita Corinne wasn't to keen on sharing her birthday, and we were also afraid he would be known as Baby Glo.  He gladly obliged though, and stayed in that day, too.  April 6 - maybe he wanted to share birthdays with Owa Guia?  I was so psyched to go into labor already, but still nothing.  

Yes this little boy seems to have asserted his "i will not be pushed around or pressured" personality and I have had no signs of labor at all.  Nevertheless, Rey and I (and some times with Miggy or the Martins), diligently walk around Bel-air each night hoping that this would induce my labor somehow.  I'd walk around for around 30 or so minutes each night - because that's all my swollen feet would allow me.  But Bogs doesn't seem affected by any of this activity and seems to still be very cozy in my belly.  Thus, I keep telling people, this baby has decided that he will come out on his own terms.  

During all this waiting, I try to keep myself busy and distract myself.  While waiting for D-day, all I've been doing is cleaning up my files on my hard drives, organizing pictures, files, emails; fixing my outstanding bills, issuing checks, filing my documents in our hanging file.   I've heard many stories about expectant mothers starting to "nest" as their delivery date approaches -- scrubbing bathroom floors, tidying up baby's things, decorating their rooms or nurseries, etc.  Everyone who knows me knows that my Mom's knack for being very organized, decorating, and tidying up places is not something I inherited from her.  Rather, I've inherited the Bautista ways where my things can be anywhere and everywhere, crumpled money bills are miraculously discovered in different handbags, and my idea of efficient packing involves throwing things in a suitcase and being able to close the zipper. I was therefore very curious whether I'd actually go through any sort of "nesting" instinct.  

While erasing some unnecessary files on my hard drive, Rey goes to me... "maybe that's just your way of nesting - you're e-nesting!"  Hahaha, we had a good laugh about this as it seemed like such a lame attempt to say that I had found my "nesting instinct".  But, hey, I guess we do have our own types of natural instincts.  

What's in a name?

We've gotten our fair share of frequently-asked questions (FAQs) since we started the pregnancy journey.

And one of those has come in various versions. But they all point to the question of "Have you chosen a name for your baby?"

Underneath this curiosity and what may seem as just a run-of-the-mill pregnancy conversation topic, I suppose we all ask about a baby's name because we all want and seek identity. Hopefully, not ours but that of the baby in Camille's womb.

We all tend to form impressions based on a person's name. We wonder if he or she is a "Junior" or if there was some devotion that his/her parents had to a particular saint. Is it the name of someone famous? Someone close to us? Or does it sound cool?

A name can bring back memories. Of childhood past. Of people we didn't like. -- of course, you wouldn't want to name your child after the person who bullied you in nursery.

Some names are associated with a certain aura or feel. If you were named Kawayan, it seems like you are really bound to become an artist. In the same way, it's hard to imagine having a lawyer named Beyonce.

We've come up with a shortlist of names and we have yet to decide on the final name of our son. It is quite possible that the name will be decided on as Camille goes through the miraculous process called labor. But in the last 7-8 months, we have called our little miracle, Bogs. Yes, Bogs.

So what's in a name?

A whole life ahead.

It is one of the many choices that first-time parents like us have to make as we speak. The implications can be life-forming and life-changing. It spells the difference between friendly banter and a fistfight. It defines how long it will take up to fill up an immigration form. Checks will have to be re-written because the second name was omitted. And so on.

While a name does indeed identify us, it does not define us.

What's in a name?

A whole life ahead.

We choose to call our son, Bogs. We do so knowing that Bogs can stand for "Bugoy" or "Boggino" (a name Fr. Benny de Guzman gave to our yet unconceived child before the wedding).

A name may have images and impressions associated to it, but these can be changed. He has a clean canvas for him to paint his life on - and we will be there beside him as he defines the colors and hues.

What's in a name?

A whole life ahead.

Bogs. Our son. He shares in our history, in our heritage, in our lives. As we will share in his future.

And we will love and cherish him as deserving of all of God's blessings.

A whole life ahead.

starting a blog...

we're on our 38th week and have no idea when the little one will decide to pop out... (although from what i hear, it won't be as simple as just "popping him out").

rey and i aren't used to writing, much less blogging, but we wanted to try to document this journey we will soon be taking as parents, with the arrival of our son, "bogs". :-)

accomplishments to date:

as of now, we've:

- moved back into my parents' house, but are still in the process of hauling everything out of our apartment and reorganizing our life in our new home for the next couple of months

- received lots of wonderful gifts and helpful tips from friends, family, and even some strangers

- attended a childbirth preparation class

- attended a l.a.t.c.h. breastfeeding talk/workshop

- bought our pack&play (which has yet to be assembled)

- conducted a thorough online due diligence, followed by intensive discussions, and finally picked, purchased online, and are now waiting shipment of our baby's stroller

- not made a final decision on and are still going back and forth with bogs' real name

- interviewed a potential helper/yaya