One year old, quarter 1

I still haven't been diligent about posting here, so I've decided to post an update about the first "quarter" of our little boys 1 year old life.  :)

[I've tried to write Bogs monthly letters since he was born following the practice of my friend, Ina.  I don't publish these letters online, but allow me to share this last letter for this post.]

You are growing up to be a really sweet boy.  Just yesterday when we were at 60 Zodiac with the other Bautistas, you were the one chasing Manong David and Manang Addie and trying to hug them.  They were both kind of annoyed with you, haha, but you were relentless.  It was the cutest thing.  You even kissed Manong David when we told you to! (and you don’t even kiss US when we ask you to!).  You seem to be at that stage where you are really fond of other little people like you.

You walk really fast now.  But maybe because most of your shoes are still big, or maybe because you walk too fast, you still get your feet twisted and fall down often.  But you hardly ever cry when you fall.  You are such a brave little boy.  You also have a new “war wound” this month.  Just last week, Owa Gina brought you and Manong David to Tagaytay for the day cause she had to check things out for some construction she is doing there.  According to yaya Rona, you fell somewhere in the yellow room and got a layer of skin peeled off.  I had to go to the wake of your Tita Rizsa Chipeco’s dad that night, so I wasn’t home right away.  Your Dad called me when he got home and he was furious! He gets really upset when you get scratched up or get wounds.  I kept telling him that you’re a little boy and these things will be inevitable.  But of course that doesn’t mean we’ll worry about you any less. 

We also went back to Tagaytay with people from Daddy’s office over the weekend.  On Sunday morning, because you didn’t want to take a bath, you were crying your heart out again with heart wrenching screams.  This is not uncommon for you.  Yes, when you are happy, you are really happy, also laughing with screeches of delight, but when you’re angry, oh boy, you are ANGRY.  Anyway, I was holding you trying to comfort you while Yaya Rona was trying to towel you off when we both noticed that tiny droplets of blood were forming out of your scar.  It was enough to make me weak.  I think the intensity of your screams made blood come out of the raw healing wound.  Hay, my little boy. 

You spend most days at home, but Owa Gina has been taking you and Manong David out a lot recently.  She brought you both to the Manila Oceanarium, but I don’t think you cared much for the fish in the acquarium yet.  You liked dipping your hand into the little pool with star fish they say, but that was pretty much it. 

Your favorite toys are still “non-toys”, like the little tea candles at home, spoons, or whatever you can mix.  On one car trip with Owa, she said you were getting fussy and to pacify you, Owa gave you a small tin of her mints.  You fell asleep with the mint tin in your mouth. Hehehe.  The tin now has dents from your teeth marks.  I know this also isn’t very safe because sometimes you bite off the paint from the can, but sometimes we are desperate and don’t know how else to pacify you.

You are also now an expert at saying “babay” and your half flying kiss.  For your flying kiss, you just sort of put two fingers to your mouth, but you don’t make it “fly away” hahaha.  Sometimes, when I’m leaving, you start saying “babay” with a quiver in your voice.  I still can’t figure out sometimes what you think you are saying when you say “babay”, because sometimes you say it to tease that you are leaving, or you say it when you want to leave, but you also say it when you know mommy is leaving and you don’t want me to go.  Also, now everyone is “Mam” to you.  You walk in the room and see Dad sleeping and you say, “Mam, “Mam”.  And then you try to wake him up by pouncing on him continuing to say “Mam, mam”.  It is too adorable for words hahaha.  You also gesture to Owa and even Lolo by saying “Mam, mam”.  Hehe.  You are really a funny boy.

Another word you say it “Come, come.”  At least I think you say this.  You also mutter a lot of other things, hopefully they form into real words soon. 

Its still very difficult to feed you.  I usually get desperate and just feed you white rice cause it seems to be the only thing you’ll take, just as long as I get some food in you.  Hopefully you will be a “great eater” like your Dad and I. hehehe.

You still don’t sleep through the night when you’re with me and Daddy in the room.  According to Yaya Rona, the time that Daddy and I went to Hong Kong without you (yes, our first trip without you, two nights away from our sweet boy), you slept through the night!  I don’t know how she does it or if you do it on purpose.  But at least the thought that it can happen does give me hope!  

I’m pretty nervous about your checkup this month because I really don’t seem to see that you’re gaining a lot of weight or growing taller.  I feel it will be judgment on my ability to nurture your growth! Ack! Haha.  But hopefully all will be well.  Today is actually Mommy and Daddy’s 2^nd wedding anniversary. :) You are definitely one of the best gifts mommy and Daddy ever received since then.  As I told Daddy last night before we went to sleep, you bring me so much joy. 

After eight months... :)

After eight months since my last post, these are some current facts about out little boy:

1. Diego is still called "Toto", "Toto Diego", "Dieg-dieg", "Diegolags", "Baby", "Hunny/Sweetheart" (by me only, though).  Bogs not so much, but that's how some people refer to him when they ask me about him.

2. He started walking for real about a week after he turned 13 months old. He still falls every now and then, but he's become a lot more stable.  He likes to get hold off your finger and lead you to where he wants to go.

3. He's still a very picky eater.  But we're trying.  :)  We're not able to make him sit still with us for a meal yet. So eating out with him still means taking turns eating, while the other brings him around.

4. We had a "Barrio Fiesta" theme for his first birthday party, with a sari-sari store, pabitin, and "street food".  We had a blast, and I think he enjoyed, too. :)

5. He still wakes up once at night.  Sometimes, he'll quickly fall back asleep after nursing or being rocked.  Other times, he'll be wide awake and will want to watch TV or play.

6. He still loves his Daddy's blackberry and has more than once, dialled random people in the middle of the night. 

7. He had his first haircut after he turned 13 months at "Be Beautiful For Him" care of Lola Mercy (who used to cut mine and Manong's hair before). 

8. He seems to have outgrown his allergy to chicken, but we're still being cautious.

9. His favorite DVDs are Sesame Street Sing a Long and Barney's Shapes and Colors.

10. He gravitates towards boys more (e.g. Lolo Bong, Lolo Badong, Tatang Jone and Tong, Tito Marc, Tito Edsel and Tito Vic), and little people (not babies) (e.g. Tita Julia, Manang Addie and Ate Gab). 

11. He is a funny boy.  Last week, he held up a huge empty Promil Can up to his ear and started mimicking his Daddy on the cell phone, saying, "Edo? Edo?" while walking around the house.

Bogs on the day of his 1st birthday (Bel-air Park)

11 things about my little boy...

As I've told my other friends, I don't seem to have any time to do anything else when I get home from work, other than to make up for lost time with my family. So all our grand plans of having this regular blog to document our lives as new parents have not exactly been achieved. In any case, I felt it would be good to jot down a couple of things about my little boy, before memory fails me, because he's growing up so fast, right before our eyes. :)

1. He's very perceptive. There have been several times that I've watched him quietly wake up in his crib. Thinking there was no one around in the room, he'd know not to waste his energy by crying or complaining without an audience. So he'd try to reach for the top of his crib on his own. While he is too little to get up on his own, you can tell he has a survivor instinct. It's only when he sees someone (even from the corner of his eye) that he starts to whine to be picked up.

2. He has these funny skin problems. Patches of his skin would get rough and dry, then they'd eventually clear up and become white. They don't seem to bother him, though.

3. He has a way of laughing such that one eye gets smaller than the other, or sometimes one eyebrow is raised.

4. He's a jumper.

5. One of his favorite play things are Lolo Bong's old orange can of Fox's fruit candy.

6. He could support himself on a standing position (with support) as early as 3 months, and is almost able to lift himself up on all fours now at 6 months. I have a feeling he has the potential to be athletically adept.

7. He has a wavy tuft or hair in the middle top of his haid. And he has these 3-5 long strands of hair that extends to his forehead.

8. His laugh is more like a shrilly scream. Manong (or Miggy) thinks its cause he doesn't really know how to laugh properly yet so it comes out as a shriek.

9. He sometimes babbles to himself at night. I think he likes to listen to the sound of his voice.

10. He can readily turn in the direction of your voice when you call him, even from a far distance. When I say goodbye to him, it sounds like he's both laughing and crying at the same time.

11. He likes to bury his face onto the person carrying him, especially when he gets excited.

When Rey has the time, I'll ask him to make his own list, too. :)

back to work!

a break from the recap of my first month to reflect on my first few days back at work...
i guess its because i practiced leaving diego at home to run little errands, watch a movie, have lunch or dinner out, i had already psyched myself that going to work would be just like that.  just a bit longer.  it makes me appreciate when he wakes up at night, even if it means less sleep for me, because that's when i get to spend alone time with my son. i also love coming home to see him, and i get such a high from seeing his first smile when i arrive.  if i arrive and he's still asleep, i just chat with yaya rona to find out what they were up to the whole day.  i find such a sense of achievement to find out that he drank a lot of milk, because then it makes me feel that i'm doing a good job of providing him with the milk he needs to grow. while i'm at the office, it's not too bad either.  its just like old times, when i hadn't given birth yet, but without the pregnancy restrictions.  and while i do pine to be with my baby, practically counting the minutes til i can go home, i don't really mind being at work, knowing that i am so blessed to have my own little family.  work hasn't poured in, in fact, i haven't been doing anything at work because there are no new projects, and my bosses are on leave.  it makes the day go by sooo slowly, but the good part is that i have no issues with leaving immediately at 5pm to rush home to my little one.  now i know what rey was talking about when he started going to work after diego was born.  its easy now, but i know it will only get harder as he gets older, and quality time with him will be even more precious.

Bogs' fourth trimester: first week (makati med)

The past 2 1/2 months has been a crazy mix of anxiety, "near post partum depression", excitement and loads of fun. 

Since we've been so delinquent in updating this blog, i'll just try to recall in bits my memories of what we've been through...

First week: We were kept "hostage" in makati med because a doctor observed that he was dehydrated, so we had to keep him there while waiting for a blood and urine culture to ensure that he was clear of any bacteria.  we were given a brief reprieve from changing diapers, but rey and i would make the trek from our room to the nursery diligently every 2 hours to feed the little one.  at the start, we'd wait for them to call us before going to the nursery, but after a nursery fiasco which i don't care to detail in this blog, we took the initiative to just go on our own every 2 hours to make sure he didn't miss any meal.  

i don't recall it as clearly anymore (perhaps because mother nature makes sure the hard parts are forgotten and all that's left in parents' memories are how perfect their babies are).  i do know, however, that while each time the nurse would roll in diego in his bassinet, rey and i would light up.  we'd ask the nurse on duty - did he pee?  did he poop?  (this was a crucial indication of his healing from the dehydration), was he crying long?  he was so little and looked sort of like ET to me than those usual chubby babies you see in movies or tv.  his eyes were black and beady, but each time they'd bring him over to latch on to me, he'd pull back and look at my face with eyebrows raised, as though he was thinkng - "can i trust you?".  when he'd hear rey's voice, he'd even pull his face back just to see where the voice was coming from and peer at rey with the same suspicious look.  when it seemed he was satisfied that we could be trusted, he'd latch.  and oh boy, would he latch.  it'd be soooo painful that i had to hold rey's hand with my free hand just to keep from screaming in pain.  he'd suck vigorously for a few  minutes then drift into a lazy suck - which meant, suck, suck, pause.... suck, suck, pause..... because of this, the whole feeding session would take an hour or more.  we had "nursing classmates" we would recognize through the curtains, but i guess we were all very groggy that we'd just greet each other with a smile and nod, knowing we were all struggling in this new endeavor called parenthood.  

while he'd nurse, rey and i would imagine what he was thinking.  we even joked that he purposely got himself dehydrated to extend our stay in the hospital because he had a crush on one of the nurses. rey even joked that it was the chubby one who we didn't like who would roughly pinch his feet to wake him up, shaking our heads that our son regretfully had poor taste in women. hahaha.  we'd recite the novena to st. therese of the child jesus to ensure his healing, too, and place the stole of fr. gratian (spelling?) near him.  i did sort of feel robbed of the early days to be with him 24/7, but i think i was too scared to ask him to be roomed in for fear i wouldn't know how to take care of him as we had no yaya for him yet.  also being in the hospital just makes you feel like you're sick and not strong enough to take care of another person.  but maybe we'll be more confident the next time around.  

in the hospital, we were still sort of in a plastic bubble.  we were fully immersed in the total reality of being parents, and i had no idea what to expect when we did get home.  one thing i did realize at this time, was that motherhood was turning out to be one of the hardest but most wonderful thing that i would ever experience.

Belabor Me

I now understand why they call it labor. Or why we use the phrase "labor pains" to refer to some difficulty encountered when trying out something new. 

Because it is indeed painful! 

We had been waiting and waiting weeks prior to Camille's due date.  Hoping that she would start her contractions and give birth before her due date.  But no, the baby wanted to come out in his own time.  Due date was April 6/7.  But he refused to budge.  We thought maybe he wanted to come out on April 9, the National Day of Valor or Araw ng Kagitingan.  Wala pa rin. Sinimulan na namin ang novena kay St. Therese of Lisieux.

Then on the evening of April 10, Camile went to the hospital to have herself checked for a suspected leak.  It turned out that while she was starting to have contractions, the main water bag was still intact and it was only the fore bag that had ruptured.  So we went home.  By 1130pm, the contractions started to become more intense.  Intervals of 7 minutes all the way up to the following day.  I was actually catching up on facebook between her contractions since I couldn't get any sleep anyway. 

We decided to go back to the hospital the following day before 9am.  Camille felt the pain.  When we got to the birthing room, the doctor said she was only at 2cm.  But she was in pain.  So we moved to a regular room and wait it out. 

It was time to apply all those techniques we learned in birthing class. Use a tennis ball to massage her lower back! Swing your hips as you're standing!  Sit on the birthing ball! Massage her back! Cleansing breath! Breathe! Focus on something other than your pain! Offer  your pain! We were fortunate to have 20 hours of doing that every 10 minutes. 

Camille couldn't eat. Camille couldn't drink. She felt nauseous.  She finally agreed to take Demerol by noontime but it didn't really help much.  Whenever she was hooked to fetal monitor for testing, her contraction intensity was off the chart despite the fact that she continued to be at just 2cm. 

This was all Camille's pain. And all I could do was just be there and do whatever she wanted me to do. 

By 6-630 pm, she progressed to 5cm and the doctor gave the go-ahead for epidural to relieve her of the pain. 

So the contractions, effacement, dilation continued to progress until 10cm at past 11.  It was time to push. Three times but it was not going to be possible.  The baby kept getting stuck and couldn't really go out. 

Dra Henson sadly advises us that she will have to do a CS.  I was just dumbfounded.  After 26 hours, Camille was not going to have a vaginal delivery.  She was going under the knife.  But  Camille just kept her cool and calmly said, "OK."

That moment was my most humbling moment.  I had a newfound respect for mothers. And particularly for my wife.  I never underestimated her resolve.  I had faith that God would pull us through.  But I never expected the calm and collected reply despite everything.  And I said to myself, I owe it to her to be even stronger.  I owe it to her to be even more present and supportive.  That is what gave me the strength to watch the operation. 

Oh and yeah, seeing my son being raised up and hearing his first cry was such a major bonus. 

You can come out now

We had a welcome arrival today.  The package from the US finally arrived! It contained baby stuff among other things. One particular item we were looking forward to having was the baby book.  And it's finally here! Of course, the HD media player the came with the package was something that got us excited as well.

We called the freight forwarder and we were informed that the stroller was also due to be delivered today! Yahoo! We're now almost complete! Baby na lang! Haha!


As Mom said, maybe Bogs is OC like his Owa.  He wants everything complete and ready before he comes out.


So the wait continues...